Browsing the archives for the Twitter tag.

‘Naughty’ is Relative to Everyone, & Unexpected BJs


When I added the term ‘naughty’ to my little list of things I’m all about, my husband-machine was a little taken aback, fearing I’d be writing about our exploits on a daily basis, or that I’d be going into gruesome detail about what silly (or amazing) things we’re up to. He can breathe a sigh of relief, while I am going to talk about all manner of how I keep it naughty in future posts in this category, I’m going to do it with a little class, yes, with a ‘c’. Potentially some product reviews, and definitely some chatter about positions, toys, potential date nights and the like. I wanted to add this category for a lot of different reasons, but I didn’t out of fear the mommies or crafty gals that read my blog wouldn’t be into it, and then I met Samantha and Kit on Twitter and realized that there are other naughty ladies out there married with kids and a full life who would be into reading about that kind of thing on this blog.

I almost launched into a bit of a rant here about how important it is for both partners to be aware of the other one’s drive, and of their mutual comfort level and willingness to experiment. Ranting aside, even ‘willingness to experiment’ means totally different things to different people. For some, it might mean trying out some backdoor shenanigans, for others it may be introducing a new toy and for others still it could mean treading waters most people wouldn’t go near. Find your zone and go with it, there is no reason for any couple (even, or especially, the most vanilla of couples) to push themselves further than they are comfortable just to be like someone else. So if you’re both perfectly happy with once a week, then a post on 17 positions in 17 days could easily be adapted to 17 positions in 17 weeks, yes? So having said all that, let’s roll, shall we…

Anyone who knows me could probably assume correctly what my first naughty post would be about. Not only do I think it’s an important part of my day, but I freely talk about it with my close friends as if we’re discussing the weather. That’s right people, I’m talking about blow jobs – or more specifically I’m talking about spontaneous unasked for blow jobs. Now I understand that there is a percentage of the together-for-a-long-time population that feel if they are not going to directly ‘get’ anything from an act, they’re just not going to do it. I also understand that there are some dudes out there that don’t like to give their women head, and because of this they’ve gone on blow job strike. As far as I’ve been told there are even more who just don’t like doing it. I can only help the first 2/3 here because people decide they don’t like doing it for a whole list of reasons I just am not equipped to handle. Personally, I’m into it, I like doing it, I think it’s fun and most of all I love seeing what I can do to him when I’m just focused on him. To his credit he will often do the same, but it wasn’t always like that.

However, not doing it because you’re not getting anything back and being on strike because you’re not getting any ‘face time’ (ha!) I can totally help you out with. Generally, we all do things for our partners just to make them happy, right? We’ll make a meal we don’t care for that they love, or we’ll go on an outing somewhere we’d never pick for ourselves because they really want us to go with, or maybe just little stuff like how we do mundane tasks or movie and TV choices. So why would giving your man a BJ be so much different than that? ‘But May’, I can hear it now, ‘how can you compare making spaghetti or watching a football game with giving a blowjob?!’ Simple. You’re not into it because you’re not getting anything out of it, but you do it to make him happy, so add this one to your list. At least offer it up the next time you have the opportunity and try.

If you make it a habit, you may surprise yourself by really getting into it, and if you still want to make it more mutual you can always ask him! The obvious choice of course is to flip over, but if you’ve got most of your clothes on and you’re not somewhere comfy, that can end up being a bit of a mood breaker and not as much fun as you’d hoped. A personal favorite is to just twist slightly (which is actually a great position for a seriously deep BJ but we’ll leave that for another day) so he can use his hand. No interruption to your current mission!

Never would I suggest giving head just to get it. The whole point of randomly offering it up and delivering is how fun something so one sided can be. Having said that, getting a random, unexpected BJ here and there can do wonders for a guy’s mood and overall outlook. Doesn’t mean it’ll necessarily translate back to the bedroom for you, but a good mood is a good mood, right?